


Fade From Black

by Querel (Rednaelo)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Canon, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sadstuck, tentabulge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-03-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 08:34:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rednaelo/pseuds/Querel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tavros takes in Gamzee after the arduous trials faced in their gaming session.  But Gamzee is only a shadow of the troll he once knew.</p><p>Prime Pairing #1 in Querel's Shipping Wall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fade From Black

 Black wasn’t a color anymore.  It was flesh rot: a dark shroud over colors so heavy, they began to die in their decadence.  Tavros would run his fingers over the colors in black and wonder what they looked like when they lived.  Ranging all over the spectrum, back and forth, until they blended together and made black.

He stopped wearing black before long and switched to white instead.  Long-sleeved shirts and pale blue jeans.  No shoes.  He never wore shoes anymore.  He liked the sound of his feet on the ground.  The scuff and slide of metal on tile or nubbed carpet or even dirt.  It was extra cleaning work, but it was worth it.

Tavros didn’t sleep in his recooperacoon anymore either.  He instead gathered a giant mass of plush animals and cushions and curled up in it after slathering sopor slime over his eyes.  Made things a bit sticky, but at least he didn’t wake up with neck problems anymore.

It had been a long time since he’d been in contact with any of the other trolls.  Only a few.  Aradia would still check in on him every now and then and Vriska would harass him when she got bored.  It was lonely, as usual.  But Tavros had colors and the rains that stayed close to his hive to fill the empty spaces where friends and his lusus once occupied.

And Gamzee.

Gamzee didn’t return to his hive.  He’d long ago muttered something about pointlessness and Tavros didn’t think twice about inviting him to his own hive.  Gamzee agreed almost instantly.

The gangly troll slept even less than Tavros did.  He’d sit on the hive’s roof when the rains came and tilt his face towards the sky until all the paint washed down his neck.  It would stain his shirt and run down his arms like cracks in his ashen flesh.  His black curls would deaden under the water’s hold until the strands hung limp around his shoulders.

As long as it rained, Gamzee would stay outside.  Tavros would join him only when it was night and the entire world was not-black with the dead blood colors of a constantly reincarnated sky.  Lightning ripped through it like a reminder of the rekindled life that would bloom come the next sunrise.  And Tavros would nestle himself under Gamzee’s arm, against his chest, holding him tight.

There were no more miracles.  Nothing was left of the world where beautiful things happened at the whim and love of an unseen touch to the planet.  The remnants of those dreams evaporated with the dew in the morning and could only be found in the stars when no one looked at them. 

Silence was the sound of the hive.  It vibrated in tones of silver and made strong impulses grow in Tavros’ heart.

How dare….  How dare anyone for what they have done? 

He would look at Gamzee’s quiet, unsmiling face and hear the nothing that he spoke.  It was a nothing burdened with anguish and aching: a mourning for a lost lie.  And Tavros would think, “How dare they?”

Not far into the second Dim Season, on a day when the pale light blanketed the cliffs and fields in pinkish dawn, Tavros woke to find Gamzee sleeping next to him.  He’d only seen Gamzee sleeping maybe ten times in total ever since the two of them moved back into the hive.  And usually, it was just because Gamzee had fallen asleep in the torrents while lying on the roof.

So Tavros didn’t want to move.  Not an inch.  Didn’t want to wake him.  But from the odd corner of his eye as he lay on his back, he watched Gamzee’s shoulders lift and fall very slowly.  He snuffled and sighed instead of snoring.  Tavros kept his eyes closed and listened.

Sleepy breaths….  Like the soft dip and swell of the ocean or the gush of winds through the grass. The occasional hum of an unconscious word.  Nothing intelligible.  Just Gamzee’s mutterings.

Tavros couldn’t tell if Gamzee’s face was painted or not.  It didn’t really matter.  Gamzee did it mostly out of habit.  But Tavros liked the way his face looked without the paint. 

This near, it was very warm and as Tavros reached up to wipe the last of the sopor slime out of his eyes, Gamzee stirred.  He yawned and sighed deeply, the sleep-soured breath gusting over Tavros’ face.  Gamzee pushed himself up and moved until he was looming over Tavros.  No paint.

“Uh, good morning,” Tavros said, reaching up his cleaner hand to stroke Gamzee’s cheek.  He traced his fingers down Gamzee’s jaw and over the vein in his neck where he brought his hand to rest.  Gamzee’s heartbeat was slow and lethargic under the pads of Tavros’ fingers. “You were, uh, sleeping.  Did I wake you up?”

“Nah,” Gamzee said lowly, his eyes shifting to catch every detail of the troll beneath him.  “Didn’t mean to all up and fall on your pile here, bro.”

“Oh, no, no,” Tavros said.  He smeared the sticky mass of sopor slime off on a nearby plush and then wrapped that same hand around the back of Gamzee’s neck.  “Uh, it’s alright, really.  You can sleep here any time.”

Gamzee was smiling, then, a tiny shadow of the sloppy-sweet grin he once sported. 

“That’s real motherfuckin’ beauteous of you,” he said.  His head fell forward so that the tips of his horns almost scraped Tavros’ forehead.

“You, uh, you okay?”  Tavros rubbed little circles at the back of Gamzee’s neck, kneading the tense muscles there.

Gamzee gushed out a groaning sigh.

“I don’t think I’ll be obliging myself to your offer, though.  Let’s us just be keeping to the motherfuckin’ accidental slips away from the waking.”  He lifted his head again, only those weary yellow eyes stared offside into the shadows of the bedroom.  “Nah…. Nah, not even that.”

Gamzee pushed himself up off the heap of softness and brushed Tavros’ hands away. 

“Wait, Tavros said, sitting up.  “Please, uh, please just come back.”

Tavros searched Gamzee’s whole frame.  From the ached hunch of his shoulders and greasepaint and sweat-stained shirt to the loose and sagging pants that were sloped off one bony hip and all the way to his clawed toes curling uncomfortably in the carpet.

Gamzee turned to face Tavros and Tavros followed each of the lines across Gamzee’s face.  One for the faith, one for the friends, one for the strength of heart: all that he lost.

“Bro, I don’t…I motherfuckin’ can’t….”

“Yeah, you can,” Tavros encouraged, reaching out for him.  “You don’t have to, uh, be scared or whatever.”

Gamzee shook his head a bit and cast a tired glance to the floor.

“It’s just us,” Tavros went on.  “Just you and me, you know?  There’s, uh, no reason for you to think about anything else.

 

It eventually did start raining that day.  But Gamzee didn’t retreat to the roof that time.  He lay in the nest of plush with his mouth open as Tavros straddled his hips and touched every fang in Gamzee’s head.  Slowly.  One at a time.

Those teeth could have names, Tavros thought as one of his nails scraped into the delicate seam between enamel and purplish gum.  He knew what color Gamzee was when he was alive, not sodden black by the heavy rains.  His colors had run together until he didn’t have a color anymore.  Why couldn’t he be purple like the tender gums that bled violet under the attention of Tavros’ claws?  Why couldn’t he be white, even it was a bit yellowed, like the fangs in his own skull?

Tavros pulled his fingers from Gamzee’s mouth and put them in his own.  All the while, he kept his eyes on Gamzee’s pupils, dark and dilated in the silver shadows of rain from the window.

Gamzee smoothed his hands over the sleek metal of Tavros’ thighs and chuckled.

“You do some motherfuckin’ dangerous things, Tav.”

Tavros smiled, lopsided around his fingers, before pulling them away.  Saliva threaded in pearly strands as he withdrew them.

“If, uh, you say so, Gamzee.”  Tavros looked down where Gamzee’s long, knobby-knuckled fingers curved around his hips and he shifted himself forward until his body came to rest atop Gamzee.

“Uh, will you…will you take them off for me?”  He smiled with a gentle bite to his bottom lip as Gamzee searched for any hint of regret.

When he found none, Gamzee brought his arms around Tavros’ waist and pulled the latches at the back of the robotic limbs.  They released and Tavros cringed with a soft groan as Gamzee pushed the legs off him and aside.

Tavros sat up again, most of his weight now put on his hands as they pressed against Gamzee’s shoulders. The stumps of his thighs were still spread across Gamzee’s hips, only now the heat and slick of Tavros’ growing arousal was apparent.

“Look at you, motherfucker,” Gamzee murmured reverently.  His hands: one wrapped around Tavros’ hips to help hold him and the other slid up to Tavros’ face touching parted lips and warmed skin.  “Look at that peanut butter blush….” A thumbstroke across one flushed cheek. 

“You’re just so motherfuckin’ beautiful.”

Tavros grinned and nuzzled his chin against Gamzee’s cupping palm.  The smile kept up until he noticed the diluted purple hue of tears dripping from Gamzee’s eyes.  Gamzee snuffled and pinched his eyes shut, trying to clear his vision without letting go of the precious one in his arms.

“Uh, what’s wrong?  Gamzee, what’s the matter?”  Tavros gave up his grip to press his whole body to the gangly troll, wrapping him in a tight embrace.  He titled his head just so, letting Gamzee hook his chin over one of his horns.  It had been so long since they hugged like this.

“Are you motherfuckin’ real?” Gamzee asked, a sob hitching in his chest.  His big hands were warm on Tavros’ back, trembling just a bit.  “Do I have you?  Can I call you my motherfuckin’ own?”

Heat surged gently from the depths of Tavros’ insides all the way to the tips of his horns.

“You know,” Tavros whispered against Gamzee’s shoulder, “I, uh, I’m not the only one.  There are so many things in this world, just for you.  Things that you can, uh, hold and keep close and things you can find for yourself and have forever.”

Gamzee’s hands smoothed downwards then back up again beneath the fabric of Tavros’ shirt.  Long fingers stroked along Tavros’ spine, making the smaller troll shiver gently.

“But, uh, yeah.  I’m real.  I’m really yours.”

Gamzee softly grasped Tavros’ hips and pulled back, careful to not clip his chin on Tavros’ horn.  Somehow, the shining streaks of tears on his face looked nice.  Not as unsettling when the rain would wash the paint off in messy smears.  Now he just looked a little damp and blotchy.  Tavros smiled at him and wiped his tears away with the back of his sleeve.

“So, uh, will you be mine too?” he asked.  A laugh and a sob came out of Gamzee’s mouth as a cough and he gave Tavros a beaming grin.

“For sure, Tav.  For the rest of motherfuckin’ forever.”

 

The storm raged, rattling and making the hive shudder under the wind.  Once or twice, Tavros would look past Gamzee and puzzle at the ceiling, wondering if his hive would hold.

But he didn’t think too much on the integrity of the roof.  Gamzee was more important.  More captivating. 

Tavros had never seen Gamzee naked.  He was all bones and stretched sinews, long and lean muscles that bowed when he flexed.  Tavros ran his fingers over the flesh of Gamzee’s thighs all the way to his knees, loving the parts of him he couldn’t touch on his own body. 

Gamzee muttered Tavros’ name to get his attention.  Of what little kisses Tavros had shared in his lifetime, none compared to how strange and perfect Gamzee’s kisses were.

Thin, chapped lips that were still soft and a wicked tongue that writhed, hot and wet, in Tavros’ mouth.  His long fangs heedlessly knocked into Tavros’ and drew tiny beads when he scraped them over tender flesh.  The sharpest tip of his tongue would skate over the splits, lapping up the blood.

Tavros answered with his nipping of Gamzee’s tongue and soft, slow strokes against the roof of Gamzee’s mouth.  Over and over, then reaching up to stroke the roots of Gamzee’s horns.

The purring vibrations of Gamzee’s contentment hummed all the way down Tavros’ throat and into his heart.  Already the sheath of his bulge was opening, his nook soaked in anticipation of the tentacles that probed like cautious fingers against Tavros’ hip.

When Gamzee broke the kiss, he took a deep inhale to steady himself and gently asked, “You got a bucket tucked up somewhere, bro?” punctuated with a kiss to Tavros’ nose.

“Closet,” Tavros told him, touching the tip of Gamzee’s nose in turn.  When Gamzee smiled at him now, it was the same one he used to see back when they were only six sweeps old.  He was cold for the moment that Gamzee stood and moved away, but Tavros just closed his eyes and listened to the rain and the thrum of his heartbeat in his own ears. 

Before he knew it, Tavros was lifted right off the pile and set gently against the wall, Gamzee supporting him completely.  Half-lidded eyes glowed at him and Tavros giggled before leaning in for another kiss.

The tendrils of Gamzee’s bulge slipped against the wet folds of Tavros’ nook, teasing the tender lips before a few twined with the extending coils of the smaller troll’s own bulge.

A deep and penetrating ache, like swallowing fire, boiled in Tavros’ stomach with the contact.  His head rolled back, horns scraping the wall as he groaned in pleasure.  The inviting expanse of Tavros’ neck pulled Gamzee’s lips right to it.

With teasing scrapes and suckles, he pulled blood to the surface of the skin.  Then again, and again, leaving a curving trail of kiss marks all along Tavros’ throat like a string of chocolate diamonds.

Splashes of liquid hitting metal rung out behind a gentle rumble of thunder.  Just hearing the lewd noise, knowing how wet he was, made Tavros keen and shudder. 

“Yeah,” Gamzee huffed into Tavros’ ear.  “Make those magnificent melodies….”  Two of Gamzee’s bulge-fingers twisted and curled up into Tavros’ dripping nook and pushed another moan from his lips.

“Oh, gog, Gamzee….”

Inside, the tendrils swirled in slow alternations, pushing in and out as they did.  Gamzee bared his teeth and let out a breathy snarl, rolling his head on his shoulders.  Tavros peeked his eyes open to watch the shaded haze of purple flush down Gamzee’s neck and chest.

“You feel so motherfuckin’ _good_ ,” he hissed.  A third, and then fourth member slid up into Tavros and they all pushed out on the walls of his nook, evoking a loud cry.  Tavros threw his head back so hard that he gashed the wall; a slippery combination of drool and blood leaked out from his bottom lip and tricked down his chin.

Gamzee leaned forward and sucked it into his mouth, right as his fifth and final tendril slid inside.  The sound of liquid sloshing into the pail below them was like a metronome as the tentacles wound together into one and Gamzee began thrusting.

He was not at all gentle, growling into Tavros’ ear:

“I want to pummel this motherfuckin’ wall to pieces from fucking you into it so hard.”

“I want to make you spurt so much juice, the bucket slops over and makes the motherfuckin’ carpet smell like your pretty little nook.”

The confessions pulled Tavros deeper, out of his mind and into his body. Coils of pleasure wound themselves tighter and tighter in his belly.  He clung to Gamzee’s shoulders, drawing blood from every place his claws dug into dampened flesh.  Each push Gamzee made into his body seemed more crushing and desperate.  His own bulge-fingers curled and wrapped around the base of Gamzee’s braided member, pumping in time with his thrusts.

“Uh, Gamzee, I’m…a-ah..!”

Gamzee gave a roar and one final shove before his arms locked and his fangs dug into Tavros’ shoulder, releasing into him.

Tavros’ muscles clenched.  Over and over, pulsing and tugging around Gamzee, drawing every drop from him, as the sick and lovely sound of sloshing liquid echoed in the shadowed room.

Carefully, Gamzee pulled himself—teeth and bulge—from Tavros.  He licked the wound over and carried his Matesprit back to the pile, laying down first so he could lock Tavros against his chest.

Still shuddering with aftershocks, Tavros breathed in shaky exhales, twitching even moreso when Gamzee dipped his fingers down to affectionately stroke at the over-sensitive flesh of his nook.

“G-Gamzee…uh….”

“Just let me,” Gamzee pleaded, nuzzling his nose into the soft, sweaty strands of Tavros’ mohawk.  “Let me touch you like this.  Everything you do…everything about you is motherfuckin’ amazing.”

He was gentle now, taking care to make sure he didn’t scratch Tavros by accident and didn’t try to press inside the still relaxing-muscles.  Eventually, his movements slowed and his hand retreated to clasp with the other at the small of Tavros’ back.  He slept.

Tavros closed his eyes and put his lips to Gamzee’s shoulder.  The storm outside had dulled to a steady drip and click of rain hitting the windowpane.  Through the steamed glass, the dim beams of afternoon glowed through the clouds and illuminated the darkness of Tavros’ bedroom. 

Damn it if he wouldn’t try his best to bring Gamzee back to life.  To fill him with color until the blackness of those memories faded away.

He promised it to both of them as he focused only on the steady rise and fall of Gamzee’s chest beneath him and the comfortable touch of two hearts beating close to one another.


End file.
